The long way back

on

I will take the long way back
the kind you loosen up to
because it’s a strenuous journey
and there’s a trembling in the pit
beneath the sky above the fire
deep in my belly

I’m the bouncing sound
the ricochet between the walls
the spitting hiss
whizzing by
that just missed
another inch
and it’d be a limb

viewing life
in a third person lens
I weep for my character
when too weak
to do “something about it”
and before you know it
you’re in too deep
and returning home
is a fuzzy dream
along the seams
of impossibility

what is that nostalgia
that rises without memory
a feeling shaped
without a picture
the radio of emotions
tuned into all my states
a labyrinth of feelings
depending on millions of subtleties
rhythms natural and made
and deciphering the nature
of all things

who am I
or more to the point
who is it that wonders
these thoughts
thinking into being
the mystery
reveals itself

his tone rips me to shreds
I go to my corner
and pick up my sowing kit.