Everyday is another chance
staring into this frozen
knot in the gullet that just
won’t go down
the kind of awkward
you can’t spit or swallow
that makes me slow
and self-conscious
where to correct
I discovered a role of strength
with a broken fan
an old worn mask
the ink of my craft burns
like passion and longing
I want you so bad
like I want myself
my urban geisha dance
of grit and fierce grace
using simple pretty ways
to convey the depths of wisdom
transmitted the lineage
of my ancestral traces echoing
in my heart pounding with the same
blood and the haunting of longing
for understanding guides my eyes
gently

what’s eternal is the emptiness itself
of space for everything that lives inside
what never arises cannot end
the whole of its gift of life is
glimpsing the unconditioned
it’s the fear of losing or the fear
of uncertainty that eats away
at your self-confidence

I can give you nothing more
than just a girl who was hurt
with youth’s folly to see in hindsight
from future soon past insights
driven crazy with violated
beauty yet retained
the innocence of refuge
in the present moment
remained all the same
when all that was gone
there was always now
as I wandered from door
to door wondering
and always looking for the eyes
that looked into me
like my gaping and parted love
sought blunt and forceful
like me rubbing on this little nub
of want
chased and followed
down the rabbit hole

it’s this thing that you do
to me that drives me
up the wall
spread between the bars
of our biggest mistakes
I ran then came back again
as I opened with the fall
you are the bottomless
well of desire that boils
underneath the surface
of poetic skin I dress you in
from the skimpy scantily clad lines
where less is more
through the elegant flow
of paragraphs rough climbs
a back and forth
in between pride and need
passing through jagged
stick it to ya
just right
there
that’s my spot in your heart
the soft sighing longing
for truths that sit not quite painful
but to the left of comfortable
yet it feels so good
to be understood
so you come back like me
to the mistress of this continuity
designing an aesthetic style
like playing with fire and words
how it inspires me to burn brighter
for me for you for all this
debacle of charades
the forms and shapes
that space fills with

it’s the emptiness that creates
everything
when you revisit
and open your heart
it all starts to feel
just a little bit lighter
and you can breathe
free
just a little bit more at least
than before