I’ve learned
if I like you
it’s no good
the good it feels
for moments
is a trick in disguise
the lie beneath
that hides the knife
that twists deepest
when I’m at my weakest
it’s human nature
to deceive
to believe
it’s just a by-product
of the cycle
ignorance hope fear
rinse wash repeat

You’re a poison shaped
to my heart’s desire
I’ve learned uniting
only happens inside
me 
the pieces can only
fit within

Marriage cured me of any notion
that I could find union
with another human
the false belief of completion
cuts a deep wound
that won’t heal
the hope for fusion
is a kind of jail
of prolonged celibacy
a cage of silences
unspoken emotions
unshared self
because there’s no point
trying to share
what is already mine
and maybe just a little bit yours

And yet I find infinite space
in the solitude
that remains
sun rays filter thru
closed eyelashes
a pavilion of lights
as the days fade
I’m content to appreciate
the time that’s left
once it ends
I’ll never come back
again