I flip the switch
these days
and quietly back away
thinking that I cannot
give but in three ways
the wealth of my being
my courage my path
my body of fate
above my creative mind
the tiger’s caught by the tail
unaware eventually
that his stripes will fade
transform to dots
to remind the queen
how her power came through pain
her fire conquering
being afraid
to hold her grace
the Hierophant answers
only what he wants
turned knight with a dark face
his blue eyes haunt me
when I close my mine
my hands rise echoing
those that balanced before
a core of teachings secretly
I’m turning lioness fiercely
bright as the sun is hot
transforming fearless
he burns because I forgot
how to touch what feels
my heart is still in shock
so tired it can’t sleep
he brings me to a halt
drops me to my knees
like a complicated box
neatly shut without a key
I’m seamlessly locked
my barest beliefs
without opening
caught in a storm of loss
perfect grief blinding
the progressed grand cross
a composite split of him in me
figures I pointedly ignore
the lines of villains gone hero
all the nitty gritty in between
leaves me wanting and sore
sometimes embracing spiritually
means strategically letting go
walking away when I want to reach
even though my love beats
a syllabic rhythm I can’t stop
occasionally
it threatens to suffocate me
I can barely breathe
and I’m holding on
because I can’t see
grasping at straws
the wave still ahead of me
but I dream into being
a present state I can mold
he resuscitates me when I choke
on what I most fear
like his daimon angel flow
he runs right through me
archetypically
coursing truth in my soul
and I know anywhere he points me
I can go on my wings alone
picking up speed he is in me
integrating whole
discovering release
one day he’ll see more
than I have ever told
till then sands slipping beyond me
I stand on time’s glass filling
juggling the worlds of words
spinning the delicate states
webs of passage safe guide
the path inside the wars
evoking the waking avatars
who taught through Prime
a single flame alone
dispels alone eons
of darkness instantly
all obscured meanings
are inevitably exposed
when seeking ceases
stillness reveals
what is neither born nor dies
All obscured meanings
Are inevitably exposed
When seeking ceases
Stillness reveals
What is neither born nor dies
I love those lines. Your work always slays me. It’s almost a living thing unto itself, terrible, beautiful, and so full of emotion!
This is a really troubling piece to read – on a few levels. As such, I really had to read a third, scan a third, and experience the other third. Otherwise i’d probably mope around about an hour feeling sorta depressed. Switches are really powerful expressions, especially when read interchangeably as a verb and noun. Perhaps its due to my own biased reading as such, but there’s some essential “fear as the creator” here – that is to say, as the efflux or instrument. A lot of people ( myself included ) fear the well “drying up” the creativity “stopping” and I kinda see that search here myself. Stripes, dots, memories of the queen to which it was both bandaged to and bandaged by.
As for a single flame. Eh, i’m what you would call a anticipatory follower of Platonism and Neo-Platonism. The fear of thought death is no more impermeable than waters it crashes through to surface into consciousness.
Still, if you read your piece bottom up it’s more Taoist in thought. My response to both Chicken and Egg has always been frying pan though, even if the fear of creative-dearth is a very terrifying one.
Maybe when i’m in a state of considerably less modulation i’ll have to experience the whole piece. Right now, I have to pick and choose.
Thanks for writing!
I’m weird = )
Sometimes things make more sense than they should if I approach them paradoxically; which is why I write backwards infrequently.
I still have yet to get to Gaol Unchained – i’ve just not been in a poetry mode the past few days.
Brilliant – your work is amazing. You are obviously very well read on all things mystical and occult, but you manage to take that world into this world and make them co-exist perfectly…amazing. Applause! 🙂
You’re welcome – I’m just so glad you led me to your blog. You write about things that interest the deepest part of my nature, so I am sincerely delighted to come across your work.