I died today
it was a tiny affair
and no one came
just me and your grave
an unexpected deep well
of what-a-twist in store
the plot thickens and bends
the shape of my heart
to the debt of a slave
that cannot ever fully
be repaid I wept
filled with regrets
having caused pain
in the emptiness
it’s just you
and me
and causality’s mess
compounded and packed
like the tightness in your chest
when you cried
clutching and grasping
alone in the dark
like dying in the street
who was there with you
inside your despair
but the awareness of you
being with what hurts like hell
it’s the unmoving
unflinching moment of tenderness
that gives and yields openness
and melts away all armor’s walls.
It’s ok that it hurt
it’s ok that you felt it
it’s ok that you got up
and it’s ok that you left it.
I can only respect what is done
with honorable intentions
the essential compassion
of backing off to not harm
is the first and foremost
component of your proof of love.
To celebrate the joy of another
and give away all hope
is to find the space of truth
in an instant of illumination
like everything came to you
finally for a second
I got it
and then the siren’s call
my habit took its place
and defined itself in form
this is the style that
creates and releases
like a climax that out of control
creases your soul
for just one minute,
and then the glow
lasts for a bit
and the slowly the flow of your
restlessness creeps and rises
again above the hairline
from the unseen
the unknown’s unconditionality
paints by contrast
from start to end
desire is the fire that rends apart
what mends the heart
yet also inspires you to warmly give away
what most pleased you with
having nothing left
it’s ok to want and not want
it’s ok to laugh and to frown
it’s ok to love and to hate
and to be indifferent
make no mistake there is no shame
in experiencing those states
that cross my day
it’s ok that it’s human
all too human
just hold myself open
and breathe into the stretch
to work out those muscles
it’s ok but that’s not the point
the core of the matter is that
you really are what you feed
yourself with
and you are as rich or impoverished
as the time you spent loving