I couldn’t say if you ever
really knew me
not because of any
or all the cliché reasons
they say
you can’t truly know anyone
that you can’t see someone’s heart
is a lie
we are showing ourselves
constantly
the key is what was cultivated
to make sense
of this chaos
called everyday life

It was in the myriad
of situations where you exposed
your critical
analytic depth
of understanding
you painted for me
all the limits
of your invisible jail
showed bar for bar
where you couldn’t
be more than the fly
pressed against the glass
trying to escape the pain
of being you
whatever that meant to you
in that point and place
by making everything
trapped in a name
your eternity in amber
outlines of your paradigms
concepts frozen
in imaginary space
held by the mind
suspended by tendrils
of non-linear time

I watched and I said nothing
about how little you actually saw of me
it was convenient
in my own
sometimes life-sized
little lies
about how I was free
to choose being stuck
with you
creating the feeling
of being attacked
by your powerless rage
yet I chafed inside
at the cage

You couldn’t ever really know me
you never stood a chance
I never meant for you to actually
see through me any more
than you could see through
the transparency of the pane
sight flawed by the eyes
nothing is what you thought
yet precisely as you saw

I don’t know if I ever knew you
beyond what I saw
there were moments there
I had no thoughts
and your broadcast came through
loud and clear