that off-feeling when nothing

as ordinary as
an awkward bite
when your teeth don’t meet
just right
and you bite your cheek
maybe you even bleed
for one moment’s slip in care

as serious as hanging on
over the abyss
and just one hand gripping rock
for dear life
five tenacious tiny digits
separating you from looming death
a countdown almost impossible
to win against

as surreal as the snake of doubt
that curls in the pit
of your stomach
flaring acid when it spits
the heartburn of anxiety sets in
generalized without focus

as mysterious as the way
I can’t name the vague sense
elusive to the eye
but felt within
that is the tell
in the poker neurosis
striding through dealing cards
plainly and leisurely
while you wring your hands
wondering if you’ll win
trying to breathe
in between the bars
of your fears
monsters lurking in the dark
corners of your mind
skulking in the shadows
of all you can’t see

as dark as the most dreaded chill
running down the spine
of your mind that whispers
and what if you’re actually the bad thing
the child who drove away
for fear of pain
felt or given
what’s even worse
than you being here but gone
in a state of want sharp
and pulling
the sway of desire
like currents coursing through
your veins like rivers
weeping willows spoon the earth
over a flowing bed of tears
with shores as separate as borders
my lips to your lips
spaces uncrossable
words never found
among the feelings like waves
went to die at each other’s
riverbanks only to find
the shores never were totally apart
merely extensions of the others’
in relative space and time

as clear as day
and I am just water frazzled
away from the curl of the wave