you cut and paste your love and devotion
to her with my words of inspiration
conversations we had
recycled like quick snack pleasure
for your sensuous appetite
betrayal and lies
served up on a pile of flattering words
I’d like to say I understand your lack of spine
but the reality is that I don’t
know what that kind of self-complacency feels like

I love by pushing the boundaries
of my sacrifice
and live by an ethic
set in loyalty to the path
I uphold regardless
of what inner feelings sway the moment’s romance
like a monastic without robes
I am the mate without a pair
uniting within

they talk to me about beauty
and all that it is and is not
all the interesting minds
that the intelligent people have
and I find it empty and hollow
all I want to do is crawl inside
and enter the refuge of my stillness
without lies or polarities
it just is
naked and fearless
from these inner heights
I cradle myself
nurture the hurts
with secret expressions
the little bruja in me mixes alchemy
slowly smelling the salts
coming to
transforming what is wounded beyond sight
no matter how fine I seem
I know intimately
nothing is as it appears
I continue on
with the biggest smile
and all the strength
of the goddesses
before me
my warrior archetype
has learned to bow out
my love is not an option
in a storefront
it is a way of walking
opening deeper to the flow of life
all-embracing
allowing the thorns to go deeper
intimacy carries intrinsic
human pain
yet I remain devoted
to the path of undoing
the mistakes I made
seeing through the lenses
of my countless unclear states
the epig fog of confusion
you drifted in with
as I wake from my thoughts
to what is before me
I see your petty games
and the sadness fills me
I hold my dignity
and a calm stability
emerges as the water separates
and the dirt settles

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