I’ve tried to find shelter in close bonds

Friends, lovers, family

Only to find

there’s nothing to be found

in the ignorance of others’ best intentions

With hollow strength

I spent years studying

Intimacy

To grasp what’s within

And what’s not

One day I woke up

Things wrinkled, things shrunk

Others grew and this is not

How I imagined living

Alive in the grave

most of my life

Has already passed me by

What I worked for is empty

A deep kind of unspoken anguish

Thorns its way into your heart

It’s hard not to follow the groove

Of the women who came before you

Whose youth was crushed up

Into a bitter pill of truth

With time ticking

My hands stretching

Every resource they can

So it all fits

To make ends meet

To raise the best kids

That circumstances permit

Then there’s just the skin

That’s worn and loose

Gravity coming to collect

What’s due

And you don’t even remember

Having worn that beauty proud

Always out of sync with the present

Thinking back or ahead

The binds formed by your own choices

You tied your hands

Gagged your voice

And settled to live within

Reduced conditions

Living up an illusion

That beauty could somehow stay

Or was there another way

Other than the way

It went?

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