I click in a quiet way
the twist and turn
the ebb and flow
I feel you close
even when the space
between us grows
Heaven hails the brave
they say
the distance
from here to freedom
is the length
of your resistance
opening to the fears
to the tender innermost

What’s biggest
always seems emptiest
weight fills space
as need creates hunger
your light feeds the warmth
I crave to take shelter in

a resentful mothering style
left a hole starved cold
I confuse intensity
with desire every time
when I need
I fear opening up
when I want to
I fear needing


The cycle twists and turns
my small bones ache
with the strain
of ends that don’t meet

In another life
I would have loved you

she says I complain
as if looking in a mirror of herself
I feel invisible
she speaks of herself
with my name
I hear how tired she is
of her own games
as if I had something to do
with her loss and her gain
but she calls when she needs a snack
a gratification of self
to crunch her teeth on
hunger and addiction blend
but I am walking away
leaving behind
reaching for guidance
from the deaf and the blind
the road is long
and time is short
more than half my hourglass
has filled with sand
my moments falling through
the constant needs never end

I’m shorn down to my skin
beaten stripped shaped down
to the most naked essential
version of me
just ordinary
working to be