dusk creeps up on day
out of the twilight shadows
lovers emerge everywhere
the world is constantly falling
in love with itself
the double meanings
of longings that ache
without relief
are two-edged swords
feelings caressing desires
blind and smiling
standing on the edge
ready to give it all
and dive off the ledge
where the abyss is always ready
to rise up to meet the challenge
of wide-eyed fools who dare
the illusion to be real
who always strive to escape
the intrinsic solitude
that comes
with being
and always at their heels
loneliness threatens
to bully the heart
into a corner of self-pity
with one foot in the past
one in the future
the present slips away
sadly unappreciated
asleep in the hope of always being
something else
as if the moment of now
were too poor
to give satiety

Suddenly your gaze
undresses me
appearances fall to the floor
around my ankles
exposed I grasp at covering up

I never really lived

I breathe in between
reading the lines
deciphering the meanings
of the ancient secrets
blood and memory wrapped in Need
from birth to death
this right
here is mine
and I need
no permission
to love you
as I do

I will fill this hole
shaped like your face
floating within
my sense of me
seeing intimately
the naked edges
of my inner tensions

I will fill it
with the colors of sunset
on the canvas of my heartbeat
and feed my hunger
with raw beauty

I will fill it
with laughter at this end
of a telephone line
a friend pouring into me
drinking deeply
our thirst for understanding

I will fill it
with the warmth in the hugs
of my children blossoming
chubby hands and smiling cheeks
kisses and the infinite depth
of seeing my eyes in theirs

I will fill it
with the touch of your voice
I lie beside to every night
and open my eyes to every morning
that rises from silence
that speaks as my own courage
coaching me tender but tough
measured yet poignant
through the palpable presence
of your physical absence
wake up my love
connect to life
turn on the light

and now go train!