it is the moment you stop trying
that you just let it be
you don’t have to give up
anything you want
why is it you fought so much
blaming the cocoon for being
so damn tight what did you
think it was supposed to be
it could only be accommodating
to who you were
you’re just clawing your way out
it’s not the canal’s fault change
is birth is pain
it’s not even applicable
like blaming the victim is a waste
of time
alright
sit back and flow with me baby
the grass is always greener
anywhere but here
lean back a minute rock
the heels and think
deliberate and knowing
you know exactly what I feel
the error is one of imputed solidity
what’s profound
is bound to feel
like falling
down into nothingness
your stirred up martini
deep as a well i am
the inevitability of uncertainty
is part of change there’s no other
way than this is how it has to be
and landing at the bottom is just
the beginning
but the passage of such large
dimensions when intentions
meant only to touch and go
is unsettling because stretching
beyond your limits is surrendering
like every time i look at my
favorite picture of you
memorizing every little detail
the ineffable you i long to name
but to keep it secret is a game
with the thrill of the unknown
the play of gender’s mystery
with a dash of the dangerous
it’s an act of balance to love
while not being able to look past
that I will lose you for good as I see
the present I see its future
outcomes are like rebellious children
but here is where i’ll take you with me
in this unflinching present stillness
where I can speak for this passion brilliant like
the fire that burns me steady and
slow that is wishing to find that
perfect poem
and you the constellation
in my mental sky
a guiding light
for you I breathe in
then breathe again
for you i shoulder it all
you make it easy to be strong
and carry on as if today will
be the greatest day
yet
I long to trace the fate of you
that I can’t escape it is you i
recognize
with all the ties that bind
you make it easy to be strong
because the most tender knots
are the ones that take the longest
to let go and the seven happened
when the moon and the zenith met
your jet onyx brings out my diamond
the crystalline perfection of imago
my discipline is in this poetic embrace
where I can hold you freely
no matter what I lose you to
the world is nothing but impermanent
everyone your grandparents knew
before them are dead we’re here
and gone so fast all i can
craft is the art of transmutation
like the stone mason envisioned his life
and sacrificed his heart into carved wisdom
the base of death is the changing of states
for joy’s birth
what is my existence worth but
the net of my deeds and the impact
of my actions on others
it’s with a broken heart that I love
to never forget what life costs
in suffering
every day
and that every drop of joy
is worth ten times the price
I’d gladly pay
that if it made you happy

 

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