I didn’t know you
still cut me this deep
I thought your scent
would evaporate
like the hours of the night
and then the sun would rise
from the ashes of passion
burnt away in suffering spent
transformed flames into wings
the knives still slice
you call and I come
sharp points of you and me
connected
barely
delicately to the shape
of your lips
I want to kiss
whoever might be wearing
them tonight
for lives yet unlived
but the taste of lies
the bitter unspoken
rolls off too easily
we’re waterproof

then you drenched me
you made me believe
what I wanted to see
and then you shifted away
love prevented effectively
a near miss
without meaning to
the shield needed in between
the you and the me
a purpose in my flow

then you smoke me out
and I come straight home
so the corners where we died
in each other’s dreams
for something
that could have been
almost
a life of smiles and tears
spilled and redeemed
forgetting me

Your fast food hate
snacks on solitary needs
you learned to snap back rabid
and keep a smile
it’s a rough game
your easy McAnger depletes me
but I need nourishing
reality
and I am kicking the habit
of selling it cheap
no matter what deep I feel
or playing it down
truth is not measured
with conventional appeal
I know now that I was
a face of the many
admirers
that could reflect
the beauty in
what you need
in an ocean of wants
that could fill that empty
hug me crush me devour me
gaping arms
for love
so hungry
you could drool
under splayed legs
and your face
buried in her chest
and then haunted
alone again aching
when everyone is done loving
You
push away what’s too soft
you make your cage
and then they visit your cell
where you plead with
being free
on your knees
but you won’t let them in
the light touches you
just slightly
then visiting hours are done
and they talk to me
as if death were speaking
I plug my ears
I didn’t want to listen
or go down the rabbit hole
with too much letting go

then my karma strips me
naked
you’ve got too much honor to say
what really hurts
and I’ve got too much grace
to give away
what I know
and how it still feels
to wish I could slip away
but everywhere I go
there I am

I haven’t forgotten
how to feel you
across the space
and I haven’t forgotten
how to peel you open
in the time in between
spanned and closed

It’s why we don’t talk
anymore