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I’m tired of need
with all its holes
as soon as you think
you’ve fed and filled
its hungry huge
jaws gape for more
again please
but without the polite
just the scream of a baby
needing to be held
the cry of a lover
you can’t forget
and there you go
bending to meet
the command
of a child’s call
in the guise
of a master flogging
a whip across your hands
so you stoop
and just serve
the years tick away
like minutes lost
off the clock
you can’t really talk about it
it’s so common
it’s almost trite

even though
He is the one I adored
you remain yet
the one I can’t ignore
the lines drawn
in the sand
between you and me
the quiet closed door
muffled sounds
feelings underground
I move along
there’s nothing here
to wait for
the wind blows through
the memory’s haunting
uneasy the way
I can sometimes feel the ghost
the chill rippled across my skin
how your hands would rest
in the small parts of me
your voice draped
around my gasps
calling your name
in my grasp
for a few same moments
you would fold right into me
even though we have no right
to lay each other’s claim
We were ours in every way
except for the price
the part we’d have to pay
as we left changed
my heart has never beat the same
from the day I found you
so I find peace
in the small truths
some things just aren’t
meant to be
and very few are
as pure as they seem
the veil has since dropped
from the screen
my eyes lost sight
when there was nothing
left to believe
but this constant motion
that ends in -ing
a kind of pause
that goes
on and on

I don’t think about it too much
if I can help it
I just digest it
for the energy
I need to get through
the daily negotiating
to be or not to be
tet the taste be
whatever it is
sometimes when the nights
are especially quiet
I think about it
and then
even the question leaves
and it’s just you and me
with the charades
of what-ifs
shadows on the walls
in the solitude
of the halls of excess
where the paths all exhausted
and the knowledge
that weighs heavy
in the intimate company
of my conscience