I grasp at the years
That passed like a flash
Or a nuclear blast
Forgotten after
the aftermath
I look at it suspicious
the long view
Of an eagle eye
Used to doubting
With a question needling
Wanting to continue
Like they meant something
All that time spent
With the story in my head
Just to have it end
Or not even
Just an empty sense
That cannot bend
The things I told myself
I wanted
For all the reasons
Invented
And here I’m sick
Of all of it
Stuck with the beneath
It haunted
Disappointed
My thrashing fits
Like this prison of now
Isn’t right it could be
Where I could draw my last breath
In a state no escape
There is nowhere
To go
But here
And this love
Makes me raw
And defenseless
I can almost see
His sweetness
Smiling at me
Approving
This is where the road is
Asi es
Our paths meet
Somewhere in between
Improbable and unlikely
But like a lottery
We won
100%
And then the presence
Instant like a gift
I see his reflection
In all I want to be
And the jealousy
Drives me deeper
With the distance
Into toying
With the insecurity
Like that last morsel
On the plate
Pushed around by a fork
The bite so unappetizing
After a long meal
A journey
I just dont have the
ganas to finish
But I want the plate clear
So I can make room
For the good stuff
Before it’s already passed
and the slim window
Stares back at you shut
Like a sunday blackout
when the opportunity is gone
And your hands
Hang by your sides
Useless
Head low
Slinking home
Hoping it might be
Better another day
And if not
Can I make it ok
Right now
anyway

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