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she turns her tears to me
of years suffering
from too little joy
in too much worry
all consumed
with her story
I weep within
but my face is hard
a mask without light
No, it’s not alright
to take without asking
my cast reflection
has no edges
for you to snag
it just looks like indifference
so smooth the water slides off
and away and I cut through
the size of the waves

the wound is fresh
open and raw like hell
raked over my coals
I don’t want to be right
but then my gut knows
what my mind doesn’t want
and then it’s said
and then it’s done
and the question that begs
to be asked is why take
what I gave freely
I’m scrambled up like eggs
confused and clearing
like the waking
from a bad dream
surreal but here

like a bad joke
he says of course
he will miss me
as I’m leaving
except for the important bits
he says a lot of things
he doesn’t really mean
or if he does
I don’t believe them
so I’ve thanked and released
myself from the karmic grip
of his Orpheus eyes
and I don’t look for him
in the eyes of other men
but I know he likes his Princess
of cups because she spills out
she reminds him of me

I look forward
my mouth full of pauses
searching for words
amidst all the losses
I close the door
and turn the key
if you want it
you’ll have to prove to me
why I should give anything
convince me
like painting clean slating
pain over treachery
past this want and through
pre-empted consequences
the reasons of need
why I’d want you
beneath this shell
in here
in me