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I can barely stand
How hard it is to fall apart
Trained only to eclipse
Mind from the heart
Graceful stumbling
Is an art
I’m mastering
Curt when hurt
I don’t do politics
I only do the grieving
The true poet I’ve heard
Speaks the most meaning
With fewest words
Your brevity exempts me
And these musings
From keeping it short
Bleeding artist
Hitting hardest
With the flow
You’ll remember
How it felt
While others are busy
Giving into anger
Forgetting and recreating

It is comforting
To know
Rich or poor
We all are heir
To this moment
I’m not good trapped
In between
My want and your bed
I need a lot of breadth
To move ahead and then
The conventions bent
Like adolescents defining
Our inner lines
And then again
Neck-deep in subtext
We are unusual.
We are a lot of things.
The ways my heart shrank
In the ways you can’t see
Unless you were in me and
That platonic bs
is really annoying.
Drop it. Thanks.
Even though we are
Truly friends to the end
We’re more but yet
Not enough to be
Anything really visible especially
Intimately direct
Where I like us best
Like saying
Get out of my face or
Get off of my screen
Or please shut up you hurt me
The no matter what
You get to me feeling
Even when you don’t get me
Even when I change the scene
It’s you and me
And what’s changing
The tide is shifting
And we’re just watching
Our skin not touching
In real-time
Learning emotional control
Comes from trust
Not force
Bonds that form
From letting go because we must
Are indestructible
I’ve seen your black hole
Voracious need and lust
And I don’t step back
Beautiful like a sun
Hinting at all things possible
I love you whole
While you find me dangerous
Just because
I’m smart enough
I could mindfuck most
Weak-minded trolls
Into submission if I want
It doesn’t mean I would
I can’t help how I feel
What I do with it is what I own
You will be taught
That’s not how I roll, this
Being kind is being responsible
Giving up all hope
To let what rises, fall
To go as deep as this goes
What you feel matters most

We’re unshakable now
Beneath what we can’t touch
We just don’t know
Discovering how much
And I’m not that fickle
You’re not that tough
There is no satisfaction
To draw out reasons
Causing any hurts
Sparing wounds by taking them on
Purifies the difficult mind faster
Than dishing out remarks
Dull or sharp
It’s what loving beyond words
Means to live despite
The tough situations
The disparate lives
The touchy conditions
The inexplicable desires
Or inconvenient complications
Only patiently confronting
My ignorance mirrored everyday
Always a work in progress
It’s where we’ll never change
It’s even footing with us
Or nothing, baby
Tit for tat, let’s go again
We don’t play for keeps
Equals the creator seeks
Self-restraint is the shadow
Of a lifetime of discipline
Learned from biting the hook
Of my pride every time
And falling for the textbook
Gut reaction knee jerking
But I see our insecurities
Like delicate children
To mature and grow
Into the blossoming
Brilliant gleaming of happiness
The way the light goes on
Behind your eyes that have wept
And yet not cried enough
To purge themselves
Of the too many tears
Held back stoically
That bind your sight
For all the right reasons
With all the wrongs learned
To try to be strong
To strive to be beautiful
To feel lovable to the world
But it’s misconceived in reverse
Or maybe just misperceived
It’s a matter of perspective
To still think that strength
Renders the soul invincible
Is like being a child on the outside
Wistfully pressed up against the glass
Ogling the shiny sparkling
Beyond  the means’ grasp
Counting the pennies in hand
Looking in the window
And the shopkeeper’s smile
Invites you sweetly inside
Come on child and I’ll show
You nice and slow
How you become
Through a Woman’s eyes
You need to realize
Before you can touch her
Gently or roughly
That you can hurt her
You can crush her
With a thoughtless lashing
You can anchor her ignite her
And elevate her depths as well
With a tender nurturing
The mother of all bulwarks
Unconditionally holding
Without trapping
This is the sacred feminine
Contained within all things
The love that spreads your wings

Your next cannon
Shooting off in the dark
Is my next canon
Written up from the sparks
This is where I’m most graceful
Dancing with what’s awkward
Maybe
You’re just not used
To an open book woman
That continues to evolve
Her range nakedly displayed
Intimately centered
Stepping away
But never leaving
Because she knows
From years of rain
The shine of our beauty
Lies in the cracks
The ruthless part of me
Is not really all that
Great or large
Strength, my friend
Is what allows us to love
Beyond the cracks
And the wounds of our mistakes
Trading love for need
Confusing power for the game
I take that lead
And go first without guarantee
You’ll get it or even see me
I know it’s scary
Exposing the underbelly
And when you’re scarred
It’s even more hard
To give away what feels
Like what wasn’t yours
For real from the start
Somewhere inside
You always wanted it
You don’t know what to think
Or if you can trust it
So you act smoothly indifferent
Buying some time to blink
But this time I’m letting you be
Disengaging quietly
Carefully choosing
Silence can fill my beats
That speaks eloquently
Measured and complete
But only if you’re listening
How I cherish you is infinitely
More deep than anything
You’ve held yet probably dreamed
To be cradled flaws and all
Into the soft warm embrace

We’re evolving and have seen
Nothing yet of what’s to be
A story developing
With no ends just the means
Being recognized is relieving
When you’re not leaning
On any given outcome to be
Named or defined
But you think I’m Machiavellian
Ok so maybe I am just a bit
With how calculated I can be
But it’s a one-calorie diet Machiavelli
Because I’m also a space cadet
Oops I said it again, maybe
I’m just loosely wrapped in a romantic
Vague blanket of simplicity
Easy come easy go forgiving
It’s not that I can’t not reach
For you
I just don’t engage needlessly
Everything I give
Is given purposefully
To foster the alchemy
That breathes
Through us, through me
Because what more can I do
Than walk the complete path
And prove my words with my hands
Like the answer will just reveal
A bit tongue in cheek
Showing me how not to take it
Too seriously
How having a tempered ethic
Means being open and splayed
And level headed
Laying it out there
Just bare
Unafraid to hide or conceal
The growing pains
Of liberating
And I’ll leave you be
Don’t you worry about me
I like you
Whole and complete
Naked and free
Good bad and ugly
And your release
Will be the smile
Painted in my sight
When one day
You’ll let it be
Just as you are
With or without me

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