, , , , , , , ,

you suspect I’ve grown jaded
or that it’s just too recent
but I’m lucid despite the breaks
what’s so grand anyway
about falling in love
the agony
of desire twisting your gut
till you can’t eat
you can’t sleep
your island of peace
under siege
chemically invaded
the vice that grips
clawing your being
stripping you nakedly
with insecurity and need
for being met
one more fix
like an addict
who won’t get off meth

yet the popular opinion preaches
chasing the dream
of fulfillment through another
is the thrill of release
and the road to happiness
i’d be glad to never
wade through the turbulence
of being drugged
high-flying blindness
impulse wages its war on reason
reminding me relentlessly
that not much separates me
from the monkey or the tree
maybe two branches away
just a question of degrees
a stupid human ignorantly
putting itself above
the animal within
who fucks up every way
they said I would
till it’s too late
and I have to wait
for the next opportunity
that comes my way
Click/action on the second take
to prove I’ve learned something

and still I keep striving
and aim to love deeper
than any falling
to be
without insecurity
or confounding
want with need
with no more sway
where the center of being
openly transcending
the seething haunting
of wanting

I agree
there is no price
to be put on peace
of mind
but if you think
you can be free
in Self-protection
the loneliness
that separates
does not release
inevitably baby
the same bars that
keep them out
trap you in
it’s not just drama
it’s the human condition
in the simple exchanges
of every day
the tiny imperfections
strings that evoke
the avoidance
intrinsic within
toward pain’s toll
the headaches of poisons
our expectations clashing
as pre-meditated resentments
escaping is no different
than engaging
two ends of the same
damn spectrum
true freedom
is somewhere in between
meeting and accepting
and traveling lightly
letting go of the miles
that slip by and away
by taking every day
head on by the balls
and smiling with the grace
of humbly having known
too many breaks
to pretend anymore

so cheers darling
here’s to years
of friendship
and past bloodshed
like water under the bridge
and treating each other
like guests
filled with respect
politely giving the other
genuine interest
and the space
to fix all our mistakes
by just being there