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I am
the cut in the wall
that separated
the present from the past
bruised and battered
from the heaviest bleed
of my life
of how rough around the edges
changes how it feels
raw from all the deception
the leftover stage
tastes of aches
waiting for relief
tricks that jammed
my gears up
does it get better
they say it does
but all I feel
are contractions painful
after the extraction

i’m reeling
purging the toxic
of everything traumatic
that I didn’t
even know I’d lived
until the curtain fell
and revealed
lies and questions rising
a messy sunrise
rain and fog clouding
what could have been
and what is
dull and gray
lackluster and done
it’s the maze
and the run
who would have known
the words
before they were sung
and now
in the aftermath
of a birth that came screaming
there’s just the wound
and the cave
the healing
and the game
of what needs
to get done