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I wonder if you’re thinking
I’m the girl you should pity
because I didn’t see it coming
poor thing, the suspicion creeping
maybe it was her fault really
after all, she married the guy
you said I can’t think like this
it’s just blaming the victim
after she got crushed
that you’ve never known
anyone like me
no matter how alone I’ve been
I’m bound to feel
the disappointing
tinge of being a high flier
you said you don’t think
anyone can ever come up
to the caliber of woman
i am because i’m
“so amazing” with a mind
like gold and like fire
all at the same time
how i’ve taken every hardship
every twist and bend
the long road’s thrown
and independently survive
not only but thrive
with the best attitude
possible, working harder
each time
creating a heart worth beyond
what is measured in money
overcoming pain and integrating
proving myself against all the odds
you know the stack I sat on
sorted with my own two hands
assimilating lessons learned
and staying soft with kindness
all the same
armored with an iron will
and you know i’m turned off by platitudes
but i only listen to you
my friend because you have known me
long enough to remember
things I’ve forgotten about
what came and went
everything I’ve warred against
but I don’t feel your words
about my strength within yet
like you say you do, I just march on
because I have to
and believe you see what you see
for a reason
and you laughed back
how people who are extraordinary
never feel special
they just feel the necessity
calling them forth
to be whatever is needed
and that is indeed
all i can claim i feel
because it’s boulders of heartbreak
i carry and let go
daily
i never wanted this for my children
but i’ll give them the best
i can to compensate
for the choices i made
that robbed them of what
could have been theirs
and you said that will be
more than good enough
because I am Melchizedek
and I walk with both
the masculine
and feminine
the dark and the light
within
two sides of the whole
a high priestess of life
balancing the mundane
and the divine
and no one can ever
take my confidence again
because now it’s circled
complete
the cycle’s closed
what was ravaged
was the last
that I’d never faced
now offered the chance
to start with the face
of a new woman
with a new life
with eyes still full
of love

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