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keep me in your prayers
as I cross the edge
of the darkest night
on the longest road
to recovery again
the time to mend
the rape of my purest intentions
a scab picked at too much
clenched I gasped
contorted with
unspeakable shock
unbearable agony
the picture right in front of me
stay strong they say
he will fade away
one day it won’t take
every ounce of me
to breathe in and out
it’s not your fault
they state
you sucked up so much
toxicity while doing the best
anyone could bet
like a clam filtering pollution
I am slowly clearing out
the pain of disbelief
on wounds surfacing
fresh and angry
like the cuts that didn’t heal
opened again and again
in a frenzied
cracked out mindset
he tweaked
and twisted every bit of me
to gratify a selfish need
yet I see
I could not be
any other way
while the other part
wishes I could not feel
like this
mangled creature
punchdrunk and stunned
knocked down hard
and out in the ring
but I am a boxer
of life I’ll get back up
and wash the dishes
sweep the debris
of my tragic mistakes
cradle my baby
back to sleep
and feed the goodness
in me
just not this second
right now it burns
and breathing for three
is the day’s enormity
scarlett says
I can’t think of this now
I’ll think of this tomorrow
when I have more strength
today it’s just one foot
in front of the other