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I am a master of disguise
hiding in plain sight
right in your view of the frontlines
of the crisis and the borderline
cool and collected
controlled and effective
superwoman they call me
they ask me how I do it
as if some special power lent
me more than the circumstances
I have to breathe through
beneath the skin’s protective
demeanor past the seeming
there lies the panic
the betrayed hopes in my throat
my half resentments
the expectations relented
one more time called angelic
because i refuse to corrupt
the innocence
of trusting
in between the can’t go there again
kind of feeling
and the knowing that it’s all life’s
bends wheeling
the road is long
everyone is on it
no illusions that i am somehow alone
or different than any other

I surmise and question
who is it who lies behind these eyes
who is it who opines yet despises
who is it who rejects and compromises

wisdom is knowing you’ll fall
and trust that as long
as the heart beats breaths
you will stand back up again
to turn fear
into self-awareness
confronting an answer
you thought
you couldn’t bear to hear

so what was it that was all
so terrifying
that had these legs running
from its feet
what chased the freedom
from your grasp
that only you could reach?