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a knot like a peach pit
is lodged in my chest
i feel it again

crease of mind a heartbreak
so raw and tender
change can hurt so much
at first it’s damn hard
to break through the barriers
of my expectations
all of my notions come undone
unraveling what’s underneath
feels like scrubbing clean
a sore that’s been festering

the tangled threads of love and hate
loss echoes back forget-me-not
nostalgia is the tie that binds

whether here or gone
i’ve loved you all along

i grew an outward indifference
of intellectual pride
to avoid looking at the hell
of the inevitable demise
seeded in any beginning
and haggard tired eyes blindly miss
there’s no meaning
so they dismiss the magic of transformation
as mundane pain
suffering is commonplace

you were lucky to stumble upon
what you most desired
to recognize what you had when you had it
i searched only to find
most of my desire is gone
but instead of being bound
I’m freer than ever
now that I’m not burying the living
with memories of the dead
till pain and pleasure
were ordinary occurrences
no punishment is awarded the suffering
it’s nothing personal
yet it trickles deep into the knot
of your being
i am a daughter of Chiron
and the pure rising
is the distilled diamond joy
of a smile
when you face
your darkest time
with peace in your heart