it’s been a torturously long road
to get to where I’ve been
here is everywhere
down the twisting fates
time and time again
I made it all
from start to end
staring into years of deeds
through the lens
of unmet needs
gazing silently without contempt
without resentments
somewhere I lost the sense
of being separate
yet I’m more alone than ever
widowed of a past
that’s best forgotten
content with the simple connect
to the world reflected
on aging skin that’s shed
so much weight like a cast away
adrift on a tiny raft of you
sheltering a smiling hermit
once strung out weeping
like the madness of a desert
invading the corners
of your comfort places
I am nothing more and nothing less
than everything I defended
unoccupied self-importance
is a kind of grace
somewhere I vacated
what I rejected
and adopted a cherishing
of all things awkward
the smell of humanity
is often unpleasant
mouth to feet to breath to pits
sweating the miasma of motion
Life’s essence is a cloaked stillness
caught in a defiance of forms
dichotomized states clashing
cloaking and shunning
the very grime that makes
your weakness
out of which grows strength
of body and mind
why am I always supporting
a subtle pride
clinging to excellence
a concept at best
yet a driving reality
that leaves out the rest
of when I hung there
left in the lurch
with a noose of choices
I was too blind to avoid
pigeon-holed and neglected
outcast starts with a basic
giving up and letting go
your own personal brand
of mistrust and treason
the wants and all the reasons
what’s the point then
like anyone has a clue
the truth is a windy godlike path
with thorns that kick your ass
and the dissatisfaction
leads the questions
by the answer’s imperfection
navigating present to future
how will you meet its expression

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