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I’m a rubberband

feeling good to bad

from up and down

the length of you

that’s me looking back

in what I perceive

and then stretching

beyond the fretting

breathing through

the devastating

once again cruelty

came back to me

with the face of my shame

a burning seed

humiliating me

as I react to what I see

and not what is real

blinding subjectivity

and what I most hate

is the reflection

of my darkest being

unless I learn to embrace

what I let rule me

my living is getting deep

like growing rings

in my tree

counting the years

concentrically

not by time’s defeating

streaking through the cycle

but by the love measured

in the chafing

constant aching

breaking inefficiently

alchemy dissolves the unnecessary

the steam is the evidence

of the sense that it’s slipping

inevitably

sooner or later

a process of elimination

perfection

produced in the changing

and how I’m shaped

is quietly

doing hard time

between the silence

and the world

and the half truths

I’m uncovering

a floating romantic

fragile and brittle

churned in wanting

but I am not

quite a butterfly

just a grub in the mud

dealing with reining in

every insecurity

they’ll hate me

if I’m me

anxiety robs clarity

of her every move

brevity is the soul

of what I lack most

if only I could queue

my fear to my fire

I could soar higher

than any majestic flight

masks integrated

unveiled in my face

brilliant and seen

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