I made myself real small
to learn to breathe with less air
curled myself into in a ball
like a fish out of water
I’m learning to suck a little harder
in real time
and forgive the edge
its sharpness by accepting
to live with me peacefully
inadequacies are the foibles of being
like the savage quality
that comes with the full range
of the trade and art of change
inevitably reality exposes what’s left
when beginning becomes end
marketing dreams for pennies
with the big guns
in the name of what matters most to me
a little knowledge is a very dangerous thing
intending what you do
with partial understanding
and meaning it to the fullest
with the best intention
is the complex master that teaches
you without stories about the reasons why
I invested so much in
the nature of my mistakes
I give love away because holding on
to it is toxic to freedom’s flow
beauty is the form that delivers insight
into who I choose to be
again and again
truth is self-evident only
if you know what you’re seeing
the key to sight is not the eyes
working functionality alone
but focusing correctly
is when the picture comes into view
what matters to the few
in the stillness clarity reveals
what never changes
breaks the stallions of your cresting pride
the majestic rise of what inspires
also guts your sense of righteousness
to stand against what has your name
on it
what I hate is what I most deeply
need to reconcile
in the elusive shifting groundlessness
that runs through the heart
of this very breath
thought itself the buildup
of unmanaged expectations
melting like pre-meditated resentments
like wax in the sun
I’m stretched thin spreading flimsy wings
like scraped butter over too much bread
I want to take flight but thrash instead
where do you go when there is no certainty
I take refuge in the ruthlessness
of this present instant
unbiased unflinching
all I got is now and barely
and this constant trying
to do my best
yet I slip and wake into
another mess of my judgments
always trying to reach for something
takes me away from what is mine
by birthright
I can’t take the road with me
wherever I’m headed
I can only find the safe direction
traveling miles of spanning beneath
all the blood and love grieved
the suffering of all that’s past
compounding into this me
who is that speaks
with these hands that reach
like a child into the fire
because flames are pretty
learn to walk the lines
with a casual kind of cruelty
getting ahead happens by stepping
on the heads and shoulders of those
beneath your feet
how you tread on others
is how you dread or thrive
depending on how you chose
because somewhere someone knew
with their own skin
stretched thin like yours is now
what it took and what it meant

 

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