it’s not that I don’t love you
it’s that I’ve loved before you
and lost so
I know on my own skin
how thin this moment is
and to skate across it
ignorant of bliss
building sandcastles
too close to the sea
the abyss beneath
what is and what seems
is the grind that drives
and crushed what you don’t need
and poetry is the grief
in between
that always has me
seeking speculating
what sleeps at the center

form is convention
the mind decides
I’ve seen through the heart
of the broken matter
the principle is gone
yet in the stillness
there is a tiny gem
of blood and breath
so precious
every headache
is a labor contraction
suffering is my midwife
this child wanted
this process dreaded
is here where I grieve you the deepest
spirit denies the lies of flesh
this wondrous taste
is not yours to keep
the desire to breathe
is the struggle to be
the same hand that feeds
beats the living
daylights outta you
while you hold the key
a two-sided freedom
the pearl in the pearl
is not the grit of dirt
the worth is in
the glow of the sum
of the whole
wet layers of aches
tears in a shell
the luster of pain
shining through the sun
of the pearl’s wisdom
the pain in your fear
is not the enemy
drive all blames
into none
is one
for some
it’s too deep
they can’t breathe
so we hide inside
consistent distraction
even as I write
it is form that masters
connecting the dots
of open space
you are already the blend
of perfect and wrong
that will launch you forth
through the core
you’ll feel barbecued in woes
love is not the easy road
embracing without hate
means to accept death
on the blades hidden within
the fold of an embrace
is the end of self
opens wide untold wings
alight with joy
broken desires are the bones
of insight
angels transformed
pure humanity

on the lens of being

the lamp that dispels darkness
love conquers anger
in the same way

I commit to the secret
jewel in the shell
at the center of happiness
is a shared breath
simplicity is mastery
the rest is a test
to accept the nakedness
and hang by a thread
inevitability is sudden
a gasp that meets
everything between
the inception and the end
with my little eye
I spy through
a crack in the lens