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thus it was said
with a heavy heart
my virtue declined by my pride
i know it now
the fires of love and hate must burn out
the push and pull of two must exhaust its course
pinched against the bars of my view
held captive by an unfriendly warden
and still knowing  that returning fire with kindness
is like making the warmest hearth
in the harshest winter
only the shaman can take the darkest tears
and turn what he touches into light
with rough hands and red spun wool
the gentle clatter of beads
between butter lamp lit primal chants
your dorje to my bell the whole of none
cloaked in white robes
of the mountains blanket snow
where the heart’s deepest wealth
hold the jewels of truths
sacred waters
blood red coral and turquoise veins
a necklace of skulls resting against
red skin a vertical third eye
nestled in the valley of a mind
four-points the cross
power and will divide
ethic and intent
I funneled & squeezed tight in a bind
the suffering of this great divide
between in-breath and out-breath
the process distilled clear insight
where the knots still hold me closed
you were a glorious sun that reflected back my own light
a mistake I made out of weakness
to crave you as much as I love you
a drop of desire has bled in so deep
it made a bed of my bones
I could have paid for lifetimes
and to find you only to see
I’ve drifted away in the stream
and this ache of perpetual need is hell
I want to wake from this dream
but the Himalayas haven’t left me
the trails are a map to the stupa
where I froze the tears of my mothers
the quiet strength of my human heart
that remains fluid against
the nakedness of heat
consuming flames of compassion
eradicating the excess complexity
so the truth pure and fluid
can pour into any cup
holy lineage of pure knowledge
fill you to the brim in my heart i bring you in
in the tiny corner of my hearth with bread and beer
but the sands of distant lands
have slipped through my fingers
of different hands so many times
I own nothing except my will
i lost my home and my name
so i’m leaving now
ghaley shu
this is my parting sorrow
because who knows where I’ll be
I’ve wandered far to find
eyes like yours they speak to me
and show me there again
I see the end in the start
the joy is sweeter than before
the farewell that breaks my heart
is the key to my prison cell
that i could for once say goodbye and stay
to not suffer change
only to get lost in the world
start all over again
crossing the vast unknown
diving into the ocean’s wisdom
on my little boat i’m leaving
ghaley shu
as i say hello i know we must part
this wonderful beginning
is the end in disguise
the freedom and liberty
is in the path of embracing joy
without holding onto the road