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i lied
straight to my face
unbelievable
how do I lose track
so easily
of what we mean
conventionally
of these things called feelings
see through the nature of life’s drug
sensation experience
repetition of the illusory
yet we’re still affected by its hold
I see it somewhat
yet not at all
and I sense what I don’t see
like I can almost hear
it breathe
i loved you
and lost you
and my days burn away
in your absence
and i lived another day
to love another way
i am the other
who took her place
but the trust is no longer the same
sands of time
inside the vast deep gap
manifests heavy and damp
plain and fat
slate of birth
of blood and breath
new and raw like a razor’s edge
it wiped me clean
then you loved another
it doesn’t matter what it was
it wasn’t here for long
and nothing stays the same
once it’s gone
you’re thus gone
yet somehow you linger
all the same
like a haunting
a sad lovesong
and it breaks inside me
like a wave
of so much I could have said or done
had the river flowed a different way
and that boiling knot inside me
that is you
that is me
is another trace
of the tragedies of connection
to the eyes of a stranger
walking you by
or staring at you through naked eyes
masked in a different form
i know you like i know myself
i know your heart outpouring
we’ll emerge again and again
when the time is ripe
our love sets up the next heartbreak
volition and action
breed consequence
the children of our desires
bearing the sins
of our mothers and fathers
we came close for a minute
to see the nature of the seeming
what is here is the longing
for the sloughing of the dream
the shedding of the pain
deeply tied to being

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