you smoked me to ash

sucked me to the end and put out

my finished self

like a cigarette butt

tossed to the ground

stomped and squashed taught me

the art of blending

with the grime that sticks

to the bottom of your feet

the stuff that reeks of rotting greed

of toxic love that tars your purity

a burnt out virginity

the stench of used Band-Aids

after the cries you barely survived

alone at night in your bed

no one to cradle your head

with the crooning of a mother

and you feel the sharply acidic taste

of your own brandname fear of death

a thick mucous feeling in the back of your throat

the nauseating welling shame

of forced entry

filling your every pore


for a moment

it’s all there is

shocking pain

and nothing more

could ever be other

than it is right now


and it’s unbearable

and it’s inevitable

and what will I do if this never ends these

thoughts racing with my calm

losing grip

falling behind

anxiety takes hold

avoid avoid avoid

don’t think about hate scenes

stuck behind your eyes

no matter how many times

you blink you can’t un-see

the movie replays itself

inside out over and over and over again

to reach this peak of realization

it’s just a breath

the space between life and death

this worry is ultra-light

truly nothing

i could cradle it into happiness

awaken citta

the naked raw tenderness

elicited by a softened

broken heart

all that suffering

broke me apart

a gap in the air

inherent space

noticing that

comes with the silence

breathe out the foul

made pure now

give back to life

your part of air

even the trees

breathe on the other side of our


give back to life

what first laid you bare

at the foot of the bodhi tree

wearing me as your laurel wreath

an offering of poetry

for kings and queens

a scintillating