I spend my life in pain
and it always rains
in my mental sky
but how can I
how can I go on everyday
how can I explain when you ask
Where do you go all the time?
I am nowhere safe
I have no place to hide

time closes on me like a vice
the clock strokes another breath
I’m getting closer to the end
my margins are tight
while I pay off this debt
of unhappiness

you choose your unhappiness
what’s yours you’ve chosen?
I can’t tell you mine
until I’ve reconciled
some peace inside
with the conflicts
that let me feel alive
the struggle lets me survive

I dwell in the silence
between the words you tell
in the cracks that open
there is always something else
left unsaid
like a joke unspoken
stuck in my head
an unbreakable spell
my laughter is dead
or stuck in a cell

wish I could just lift the dam
and let out the flood
or lift my hands
and flow out my blood
I’d rather be dead then not have a say
and let the words just slip away
and not explain the pain to myself
I’d rather be dead than live that way

there is so much beauty out there
and it’s far less rare than what they say
outside the confines of my mental sky
there’s a world of sunshine
and I want to be there
as one of its rays.

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