my pain rises in waves and falls in tears
it’s just a flow like a rhythm
I just am as I am
in all my glorious flaw
it is my sacrosanct song

so soothing my private face of contorted suffering
quiet and delicate like a secret blooming
grief like warmth that spreads cheek to cheek sobbing
and the wailing that opens here finally releasing
rocking me in a moment of whistperes cries
like wind howling off the nothern shore
broken into silen streaming tears carrying
burning words escaping secret and staggering

but in order to maintain that sanctity
I cannot understand
that you understand
because that means sharing it
and i told you no one will take my
sorrow from me
it’s really pathetic I realize
it’s as pathetic as trying to breath when
someone’s hand is over your mouth
my desperate try
a necessary desire
or I could just let go…
then I have no reason to continue
and I
HAVE to continue
and I must find something to believe
because it’s in my nature as a living being
to want to continue living
so once I awaken
from being asleep
I will have been too old to reap
A smile’s energy

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